Menopause: It’s Not What You Think It Is

Most American Women Have a Tough Time During Their Menopause.

How about you? Do any of the following describe you in menopause?

• You are having trouble with hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, anxiety, depression or other problems-but you don’t want to take risky medications

• You are feeling a lot of stress and anxiety-but you don’t know what to do about it

• Your family or friends tell you that you’re more moody and grumpy than you used to be

• You are having problems with sex

• You’re feeling bummed out and your life feel all downhill from here

• You just don’t feel well a lot of the time

You Are Not Alone

If one or more of these statements describes you, you’re not alone. Millions of women suffer problems with menopause and midlife-unnecessarily. Yes that’s right, unnecessarily. Here’s why.

Most women are badly misinformed. And so they don’t know what menopause and midlife really are and what they can do about them. But fortunately all that is beginning to change.

Would you like to know about these changes? They are already making a big difference in how some women go through menopause and in how they live the second half of their life.

Are You Stuck in the “Old Menopause Mindset?”

If you’re like most women, you operate out of an “Old Menopause Mindset”, an outlook that views menopause as a medical condition that comes with “aging and decline”. This Old Mindset rests on misinformation and wrongheaded ideas.

Most women develop an Old Menopause Mindset because of what they are told by

• physicians,
• by men who head drug companies,
• by their mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunts,
• by the media, and
• by their society and culture.

Unfortunately, the information that you have been told, that your mother was told and that your grandmother was told—is simply incorrect. Nevertheless, these incorrect ideas still define what many women believe and expect, and so what they experience. Our beliefs and expectations often define our reality.

Consider this: In primitive cultures, if a witch doctor puts a curse on someone by telling them: “You will die in 48 hours”, there’s a very good chance the cursed person will die within 48 hours.

Why did she die?

Because her “mind was set” on the witch doctor being all powerful and his curse being deadly. Her beliefs and expectations killed her.

What’s Behind the Old Menopause Mindset?

Many things are behind the Old Menopause Mindset, including money and power. John R. Lee, M.D, now deceased, was an international authority on menopause and women’s health. He put it this way:

“Menopause as a disease has been largely fabricated by physicians and the pharmaceutical industry.”

Over a decade ago, Dr. Lee published his views that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) was dangerous. He saw it as a serious health threat to women’s health. Dr. Lee’s ideas were not taken seriously at first, and, unfortunately, his views proved to be correct.

A National Institute of Health’s Women’s Health Initiative Study confirmed Dr. Lee’s and a few other doctor’s worst fears. The study’s results were shocking. They showed that women on hormone replacement therapy for menopause were at increased risk for heart disease, cancer and stroke.

“Voodoo Menopause”

Since so many women have now stopped hormone replacement therapy, breast cancer rates have dropped remarkably. For years, millions of women were led to believe that menopause was a medical condition requiring “medication”. This is a kind of Voodoo Menopause that affected both doctors and women. Keep in mind that most medical physicians get their information from drug company reps, not from independent research. And that drug companies spend upwards of $15 billion a year marketing to physicians.

Sound scary? Well it is. Medications can be a godsend when properly prescribed by well-informed medical professionals. But when the bean counters in drug companies view women as customers, then women are intentionally misled for profit.

And the problem is not limited to hormone replacement drugs. Tranquilizers and risky antidepressant medications are routinely prescribed for menopause problems too.

Consider this: Not long ago medical physicians regarded a woman’s hot flashes as a sign that she was emotionally unstable. That’s ridiculous. Do you think you have hot flashes because there is something wrong with you? Let’s hope you don’t. If you do, that’s the Old Menopause Mindset shovel hitting you in the head.

I will tell you what hot flashes actually are. And I will tell you how you can decrease the number of hot flashes you have and possibly eliminate them all together.

But for now, back to the “Old Menopause Mindset” that you probably have downloaded, the one the pharmaceutical companies want you to adopt.

Old Menopause Mindset Ideas

Here’s some Old Mindset ideas you need to watch out for. These ideas are false.

• False: Menopause is a medical condition that requires medication or “hormone therapy”

Women have suffered and died as a result of this now discredited idea. You can control your hot flashes, insomnia, depression, weight gain, moodiness etc, without risky drugs

• False: Hot flashes, insomnia, depression, weight gain, moodiness etc, are a natural part of menopause

• False: Life is all downhill after menopause and midlife

• False: Midlife is a bridge into decline and old age

Note: Aware women become elders—not elderly, and midlife is a bridge to a deeper life, a life that can be well-lived, loved and understood

• False: Old age is a wasteland of wrinkles, illness and irrelevancy

So if a women believes all these false Old Menopause ideas, what do you think her menopause, midlife and second half of life will be like?

Again, take a moment and ask yourself: What is your mindset about menopause?

The New Menopause Mindset

The good news is that the “New Menopause Mindset” shows us how to safely prevent and remedy menopause troubles. But there’s a problem.

Because although the “the Old Menopause Mindset” is dead wrong—it’s deeply ingrained in the minds of most women. And special interests who profit from the Old Mindset would like to keep it that way.

But why should your menopause be difficult and even dangerous—when it doesn’t have to be. Not if you have a New Menopause Mindset. Here’s some of what the New Menopause Mindset truths are all about.

• True: You don’t need to risk your heart and well-being to reduce or eliminate menopause problems such as hot flashes

• True: Many Far Eastern women have no hot flashes, no depression, no insomnia, no weight gain, no etc.

Because they are not caught in what we call the Menopause Vicious Cycle™, (MVC) a vicious cycle of hormone imbalance triggered and maintained by stress.

• True: The Menopause Vicious Cycle not only makes you feel miserable with menopause problems but it also puts your heart at risk. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women.

• True: You can learn how to avoid getting caught in the Menopause Vicious Cycle and you can learn how to stop it

• True: Midlife is a profound stage of your life

Midlife brings forth your deepest possibilities, and you can learn to recognize, honor and realize them.

• True: It’s not that you have grown too old to have children, rather, it’s that you’ve entered a stage of life where you’ve grown beyond having children

• True: The second half of your life is meant to be the best

So Why Should You Stay Stuck in False and Dangerous Views About Menopause and Midlife?

Consider this: You can learn safe and powerful ways to

• get relief from your menopause problems, including hot flashes, depression, low energy and mood changes
• create and maintain hormone balance
• avoid and stop the Menopause Vicious Cycle
• protect your heart and dodge the heart disease bullet
• write a great screenplay for the second half of your life and live it with gusto

And you can separate yourself from the women who are misled by lies, misinformation and by the wrongheaded views of a culture obsessed with youth and the things keep women stuck at the surface of life.

Women are growing weary of a culture that is blind to many of the things that really makes life worth living for a woman, including the wisdom and well-being that only come to her with age.

Age is something to be honored, not disrespected. That’s why the ancient Roman’s called anyone under 50 “junior”. The second half of your life is not only NOT downhill-but it is actually wired in to be the deeper, better and more enjoyable half of your life.

Do these ideas sound a chord in you? Are you interested in learning more about the New Menopause Mindset so you can go through menopause safely and move into the second half of your life as an adventure?

If yes, then keep a look out for my new book. It will be ready soon and really open things up for you. It’s called “The New Menopause Mindset: How to Avoid the Mistakes Most Women Make”.

Listen, well informed women go through menopause a whole lot better than misinformed women. I want you to be among them. Because then you will live a longer and more fulfilling life.

If you’d like information sooner, write me at wandastevens@comcast.net

Stress and Weight Problems: The Stress Hormone Connection

Do you find yourself turning to food when you’re stressed out? Here’s why.

Stress isn’t just about what goes on in your mind. Stress triggers the release of chemicals into your body, chemicals also known as stress hormones.

Many studies show how cortisol, a potent stress hormone, increases your hunger for sugar and other fattening foods. So your stress unfortunately makes foods that lead to weight problems and obesity especially attractive. Not good. Excessive weight can leave you vulnerable to serious problems, including heart disease, cancer, diabetes and anxiety and depression.

Here’s What Happens in a Nutshell

When you are stressed, your Stress Faucet™ turns on and cortisol leaks into your blood and seeps into your tissues. Your cortisol levels then stimulate a part of your brain to increase your appetite for high calorie foods. Women are especially vulnerable to cortisol driven weight problems.

Be careful of “infomercials” selling simplistic solutions to this problem, solutions such as supplements to prevent cortisol related weight gain. Claims made for such products are unsubstantiated, they have no science behind them—they are marketing hype.

The best way for you to prevent stress related weigh problems is to learn how to keep your Stress Faucet shut. Once you learn how to keep your cortisol levels down, your weight will come down too.

Personal Growth: Therapy and Choosing a Therapist

Have you ever felt stuck, confused and unsure of yourself? As if you’re in territory you have no map for and so you feel lost and uncertain without any clear sense of direction. Or perhaps you’ve felt that the bright colors in your life have begun to fade and you feel like you’re living as a character in a book someone else has written.

If you are like most people, then life will indeed send you your fair share of difficulties and situations that you can’t understand or change on your own. Trying to figure out and resolve some of your problems alone can be like trying to pick up a board you’re standing on.

That’s when psychotherapy can be incredibly valuable. Therapy can be a powerful way to get your life on track, reduce stress, solve problems and improve your health and well-being. But is it for you? Should you seek help from a psychotherapist?

MAKING THE DECISION CAN BE COMPLICATED

Making the decision to see a therapist can be difficult for a number of reasons. Let’s consider some of them together.

First, many people feel a loss of self-worth over the prospect of seeing a therapist. That’s not uncommon, especially in our culture. More than a few of us have bought into false and heroic notions about what it means to be a healthy or strong person, notions that view psychological stress and problems as signs of weakness. These ideas are nonsense—but they can be powerful nonsense.

Never assume that your psychological stress, problems or yearnings are evidence that you are lacking in any way. In truth, your difficulties can be a healthy signal that something important within you is calling for your attention. It takes intelligence, courage and character to respond to those calls.

The fact is that if we deny and avoid our emotional pain, we’ll pay a stiff price. Because if we deny our emotions, they can make us ill. And if we try to avoid our problems, they begin to set limits on what can actually happen in our life. Would you want to waste part of your life stuck in a self-image that’s too small for who you truly are?

Studies show that people who experience a successful psychotherapy not only feel better emotionally—they also have less stress and fewer life and health problems.

The same is true, by the way, for people who develop the capacity, through training, to work on their own psychology. This falls into the category of what we call “Mind-side Fitness”. More about that another time. For now, let’s get back to therapy.

If you do decide to go into therapy, you have to choose a therapist, a choice that can be a difficult task. Some suggestions: Do your best to play an active role in finding a good therapist. Become as well informed as possible. Don’t just passively accept someone else’s referral.

WHAT TO DO IN YOUR FIRST MEETINGS WITH A THERAPIST

During the initial therapy meetings, plan to learn a number of important things about your therapist. Because of your past passive roles with professionals, you might feel awkward making inquiries about a therapist’s education, training and experience. You should raise questions anyway.

If you ask questions respectfully, then a therapist should be willing and able to answer them easily. If she or he takes offense, then you know right away that you need to move on. And a therapist should be able to offer you a clear and brief answer to the question: what is psychotherapy?

There is no one correct answer. But really good therapists can usually tell you in plain English what therapy means to them. These therapists have digested their education and training into a personal vision of therapy that is well thought out, vital and alive.

It’s not a bad idea to ask if a therapist own therapy has been part of her training. Don’t ask for any details, just whether or not they’ve been in therapy. A therapists own experience in therapy is a critical part of her training. It’s hard to help someone get to a place you haven’t been to yourself.

QUESTIONS AND ISSUES YOU SHOULD CONSIDER

After you meet with a therapist, ask yourself these questions: What does it feel like to be with and talk to this person? Can I understand what they’re saying? Do I feel that what I have to say is understood in the way I meant it? Do I learn something of value during therapy sessions?

Many psychotherapy experiences begin with focused objectives in mind. For example, you may want to deal with stress or negotiate life changes such as a divorce, a marriage or a change in career. Therapy can also be an experience of uncovering and mastering habitual tendencies that leave you vulnerable to stress and recurring problems at work and in your relationships.

For some people, psychotherapy can go on for long periods as the work of therapy moves beyond the resolution of problems. Like lobsters shedding their shells that become too small to contain their growth, deep therapy involves you in the work of disengaging from your surface conditioning so that you can grow into more of who you deeply are.

You need to give a therapist the authority to work on your behalf. At times, they may challenge you to face things that are disagreeable. That’s part of what you pay them for. But they should be caring and respectful when they challenge you.

And you should never treat a therapist as an authority figure that you can’t question or challenge. And under no circumstances should you feel pressured to accept interpretations, directives or instructions that you don’t understand.

The word psychotherapy originally meant “healing of the soul or psyche”. At its best, therapy is a process of tending to and caring for our inner life. The goal is to create a “sound mind in a healthy body” and so enjoy a life that can be well lived, loved and understood.

At its best, therapy can be an exciting and courageous adventure of personal growth.